In My Veins
by lazysunday30
Summary: Teddy isn't happy with Rayna when he finds out that Maddie isn't his... but did Rayna know herself?
1. Chapter 1

_So the idea came to me from that show Switched At Birth. While I think that show is terrible, it did lend the idea for this story, which will ultimately be Rayna/Deacon. I mean... how could it not?_

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Rayna sighed as she washed up the last of the dishes. Spaghetti night was always a mess. She stilled as Teddy came up behind her, placing his hands on her hips and resting his chin on her shoulder.

"You're quiet tonight," he said. Rayna knew he wanted information on her day. He'd never trusted her completely.

"Tired," she responded, and went back to washing the red sauce out of the bowl in her hand.

"Alright," Teddy replied, moving to the fridge to take out a cold beer. Just then, Maddie, the elder of their two daughters came bouncing in, a huge grin on her face.

"What's up, sweetie?" asked Rayna, curious as to her daughter's excitement.

"Well," she said, drawing out the word until it got lost on her tongue, "we did this really cool thing in science today."

Rayna over exaggerated a gasp and widened her eyes. "_My_ daughter? Could this possibly be? Is my daughter… interested in school?" she laughed, Teddy joining her.

"Shut up, I don't hate school," defended Maddie.

"Alright, alright. So what is it? What's got you so excited?"

"Well we're doing a unit on blood and blood types, and Mrs. Whitman gave us these tester strips to take home, so we can see which alleles for blood type we inherited from our parents," explained Maddie, getting more excited as she went on, "So will you do it?"

"Do what?" asked Rayna, hoping to god her daughter wouldn't make her prick her own finger. Rayna Jaymes could deal with many things, but blood wasn't one of them.

"You guys each have to give me a little bit of your blood for the tester thing – I already did mine – I'm type O." Rayna cringed inwardly – _of course there would be blood involved._

"I think that sounds great sweetie," said Teddy, jumping into the conversation. He put his beer down, "I'll go get a needle."

_Great,_ though Rayna, _Teddy loves the idea – of course he does._ These days, they couldn't agree on much of anything.

"Got it!" he called, walking back into the kitchen, the needle in one hand and a box of band-aids in the other. "Here, I'll go first. Where's the tester strip?" Maddie handed him the small strip of paper that had already been bled on. Teddy pricked himself and smudged off the free-flowing blood onto the square labeled "father."

"Here Rayna, your turn."

"Ugh, alright. Just goes to show how much I love ya, kid," she said. Maddie giggled, then, getting impatient, told her loving mother to hurry up. Rayna repeated the steps Teddy had taken, this time smudging her blood in the square labeled "mother."

"Okay so now it takes like fifteen minutes. So probably I'll need ice cream while I wait," said Maddie, a cheesy smile on her face.

Rayna grumbled something but then conceded. "Fine, but make sure you clean up your mess," she said, struggling to put the band-aid on.

She headed into the TV room to see what Teddy was watching. He'd already placed himself in his usual spot - the reclining chair, also known as "Dad's Chair," the reclining chair was not to be used by anyone other than Teddy Conrad himself.

They'd been watching the game for about an hour when Maddie came in, a confused look on her face.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" asked Teddy, barely tearing his eyes away from the giant screen.

"I think the test is wrong," replied Maddie, holding out the test strip in front of her. Rayna took it, but couldn't decipher what it meant. It just looked like blood to her.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Well, if you're type A, and Dad's type AB, then I _can't_ be type O," and suddenly Teddy was standing, demanding further explanation, which his daughter provided him with. Maddie, unaware that anything was amiss, simply shrugged it off with an, "I guess the test is broken," and walked out of the room.

Teddy was looking at Rayna furiously. "I'm gonna go get ready for bed – busy day tomorrow…" she trailed off, stood up, and walked out behind her daughter.

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_TBC... and reviews are appreciated :)_


	2. Chapter 2

Rayna was in the bathroom washing her face when she heard Teddy enter their room. _Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit..._ was all that'd been running through her head since he had walked away from Teddy.

She finished washing her face and made her way into their room, fearful of Teddy's reaction.

He was standing in the middle of the room, hands on his hips, a scowl on his face. As she walked past him to get to her side of the bed he grabbed her arm, pulling her back to face him.

"How could you not tell me?" he asked, his voice cold, hard.

She stepped back, shoving his hand off her arm. "I didn't know."

"You didn't _know? You didn't know?!_" he was furious. "God Rayna! Were you sleeping with him while we were engaged – are you sleeping with him now?!" yelled Teddy.

"Of course not! How could even say that?"

Teddy laughed, his shoulders shaking. He moved into her personal space – his face in her face, and spoke in that quiet way he did when he was mad about something. But this went way beyond mad – he was seething. "Your father was right about one thing – you're a dirty whore," and with that Rayna pushed him back, smacking him across the chest. But Teddy was fast and angry, and as soon as she pushed him away he lifted his arm, his palm smacking her left cheek.

Rayna gasped, cradling her cheek with her hands. "Oh my god – Rayna, I'm so… I don't know what came over me – I'm so sorry… Rayna…" he trailed off as she started to move. Grabbing her Uggs and her leather jacket, she made her way downstairs. Teddy was still following her, trying to get to her to listen to his apologizes.

She grabbed her keys and swung open the front door, leaving Teddy in the doorway, calling her name.

Rayna got in her car and drove. She drove for at least an hour, thinking about everything and nothing and how much her cheek stung. _Should have grabbed some ice, too,_ she thought – always the practical one.

Teddy had never done anything like that before – _never._ He'd always been gentle, sweet, even when maybe she wanted him to be a little rough with her in bed.

Before she realized where she was headed, there she was, in front of his house. Rayna sighed. Of course she'd ended up here – they always seemed to come back to each other, even if it was unintentional. So she parked and walked up his front steps, ringing the doorbell, hoping to high heaven Juliette Barnes wasn't there.

Deacon swung open the front door to find one of the most ridiculous, downright beautiful woman he'd ever seen standing on his doorstep. She was wearing rolled down, worn-out Ugg boots, boxers, a (very thin) shirt, and her fancy, black leather jacket.

"Sorry, miss, but I'm not buyin' anything tonight," he said, cracking a smile. She took a step forward and wrapped her arms around him, squeezing. "Whoa, Ray, you okay?" asked Deacon.

She shook her head. "Come on in out the cold, then. I'll make you some tea," he said, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and leading her to the kitchen.

* * *

She had her hands wrapped tightly around the mug, her eyes cast downward. Deacon took the stool next to her at the kitchen bar. Nudging her shoulder with his, he started probing, "So, Ray, you gonna tell me why you're here in your PJs?"

She looked up at him, sadness in her eyes. "If I tell you, you'll hate me."

"Impossible," he said, lowering his voice.

"You have to let me finish first. You're gonna be mad, but you have to let me finish first," she said, waiting for him to confirm her request. Deacon nodded, so she took a breath and went on. "Maddie… is yours," until then she hadn't been looking him straight in the eye, but she did now. "I didn't find out until just a few hours ago. I didn't know… When I got pregnant with her, I was already engaged to Teddy. I just assumed she was his. I'm so sorry, Deacon…" she looked back down at her tea. "I'm done now."

"How is that… How?"

She looked up again, tears in her eyes. "Remember the week after I got engaged, you were about to get out of rehab. I went to visit you, and one thing led to another…"

Deacon nodded, remembering. "We didn't use a condom that night," he added.

"So do you hate me? Do you think I'm the -"

"Rayna – I already told you - it's impossible for me to hate you," as he was talking tears formed in the corners of his eyes. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder again, leaned in and kissed her forehead. He brought his other hand up to wipe the tears that were falling down her face.

Their foreheads pressed together, lips almost touching, he whispered, "You know I'll love you to the end of time, Ray. You're it for me… You know that."

She slowly nodded, bringing her hands to his face and pressing her lips against his. It had been years since they'd touched like this, since they'd kissed like this – and it felt like coming home.

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_Not sure if I want to end it here or keep going... let me know what you think. _


	3. Chapter 3

Rayna pulled away, her hand on Deacon's chest. Tears still spilling down her face, she looked him in the eye.

"Deacon…" he sighed, his hand cupping her neck while his thumb rubbed her cheek, "I can't."

He dropped his forehead to her chest and her hands came up to run her fingers through his hair. They sat there for what seemed like forever, Deacon's arms encircling her waist - and then Rayna's phone rang.

"It's home… _hello?... oh hey baby, yeah… yeah, I'll be home soon… alright, then," _Rayna pushed end and stood up. "That was Maddie, I gotta go, Deac."

Deacon nodded and stood with her, still holding onto her waist. "Does this change anything?"

Rayna shook her head, crying again, "Of course it does – of course it does… Deacon, you know if I'd known, I woulda told you," she said, almost pleading with the man she was sure resented her.

Instead, he pressed their foreheads together again, looking her straight in the eyes. "I know, darlin', I know."

She pulled away, stepping back a few steps, still unsure. "I'll see you tomorrow?" she asked.

"And everyday after that, if I had my way," replied Deacon, grabbing her hand, "Now go – our daughter needs you." And she couldn't help but laugh because even through all the shit hearing him say _our daughter_ was like music to her ears.

* * *

Rayna pulled into the driveway and sat in her car for a minute before going inside. She laid her head on the wheel and took a deep breath, not knowing what was to come next.

She knew she should have fought back with Teddy. Should could have blamed it on the test – after all, it was only a strip of paper. But she knew there was no use in denying it. She had been noticing the resemblance between her daughter and Deacon more and more every day, and Teddy had always been suspicious. It was a wonder he hadn't ordered a paternity test sooner.

She opened the door, got out, and slammed it behind her. Walking inside she called out to Maddie, who came skipping in. "What are you still doing up?" she asked, realizing that it would have been a good question to ask over the phone. It was nearly midnight.

"I dunno – I was just reading and then it was late but now I'm hungry again," she said.

"Uh – no, no more food tonight. Go to bed, missy – you're gonna be exhausted in the morning," said Rayna, leading her daughter up the stairs. "What'd daddy say when he found out you were still up, huh?"

"Nothing, he's just downstairs watching TV," said Maddie, scrambling to her room.

Rayna let out a grumble and made her way back downstairs. Best to deal with this now than to wait until tomorrow… or the day after that.

"Teddy? Hon, you gonna come up soon?" asked Rayna, timidly.

"You fuck him?" asked Teddy, not moving his eyes off the screen.

"Screw you," spat back Rayna, tears threatening to fall again. Turning on her heel she walked out of that room for the second time that day.

She lay in bed, waiting to fall asleep, thinking about how her night had turned out. The fact that Deacon was Maddie's father was less of a surprise to her the more she thought about it. They had the same eyes, the same jaw, the same guitar skills. They had the same passion for some things like they had the same disregard for others. She was her father's daughter, that one.

She loved Teddy, but – and there it was. _If I really loved him, there would be no but. _And Rayna couldn't help but wonder what her marriage was turning out to be. How had it gotten to this point? She and Teddy slept in the same bed but hadn't been intimate in god knows how long.

Rayna liked to think of herself as a woman of her word, but how could she stay with Teddy and be happy? How was that fair to either of them? She knew Teddy was having an affair – she wasn't a stupid woman, her momma had raised her better. But she'd never said anything, because as much as it hurt to know that she'd been betrayed, Teddy was right when he'd said that she'd settled for him. So as much as his betrayal hurt, she knew she'd hurt him just as badly.

Her phone rang next to her. "Hello?" she picked up without even looking at the caller ID.

"You make it home okay?"

"Mmmhmm," she replied, settling deeper into the mattress, listening to the calming timbre of his voice.

"You remember the first tour we ever did together – Los Angeles? And you were so nervous, and I said –"

"You said it would be just like the Bluebird, 'You and me, baby, just you and me,'" she finished, remembering that night with the utmost clarity.

"'Night, Ray," he said, his voice getting quiet, "Sleep tight."

"I won't let the bedbugs bite."

"That's ma girl."

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_TBC... and reviews (as always) are appreciated! _


	4. Chapter 4

Rayna's day was going to shit. She'd already fought with Teddy twice (the kind of fight where he says nothing like he doesn't even hear her but then explodes when she decides to let the "conversation" drop), she'd had to listen to that tramp Juliette Barnes while she drove the girls to school, where the principle had cornered her about doing a concert for Auction Night. On top of all that she'd gotten a flat tire on her way to the studio.

She was now sitting, once again, in front of Deacon's place, after her manager had called to tell her Deacon hadn't shown up this morning. She got out of the car, walked around it and stopped, leaning against the passenger side door. She knew he'd come out – he always did.

And so like clockwork, the door opened and out came Deacon, shoeless and wearing only jeans and a wife-beater. _Damn does he look good…_ Rayna let her thoughts trail.

Deacon waved her over as he took a seat on his front steps. She gently sat down next to him, their thighs touching.

They sat for a long time, neither of them saying a word. But Rayna had to know, "Why didn't you go into the studio today?"

He shrugged, "Thought we could do some writin' here today. It's nice out." Rayna looked at him, not quite believing his explanation. "What?" he said, holding his hands up as if a gun was being pointed at him.

"You know what."

"Ray… every song we ever wrote together – every _good_ song, that is, cause let's face it, we've had our share of rotten ones – was written outside the studio. No executives coming in to check up on us, no managers, no assistants, no people takin' your picture," he looked at her then, "You know it's true."

"Fine. You wanna do some song-writin' today? Fine by me, Deacon. I ain't got anywhere to be." He smiled.

And they were going to get up – they were, but something held them back, and they ended up sitting there talking for over an hour, about everything and nothing. Rayna found her leaning against Deacon, her head on his shoulder, his left hand playing with her right.

After a small lull in the conversation, Rayna spoke again. "Ya know, I always thought it would be you and me."

"Whaddya mean, darlin'?"

"I mean… even though I married Teddy and we started a family, even through all the shit with my father and your drug problem, I guess there's always been a part of me that's thought that in the end… it would be you and me…" she trailed off, not moving her head from his shoulder.

Deacon nodded in understanding. "You thought that in the end, it would be you and me, in a big house somewhere in the country, writin' music and growin' old together."

Rayna lifted herself up, looking him in the eye. "Yeah," she whispered, smiling.

Deacon smiled back, "Yeah, Ray, me too. Me too." And suddenly the mood shifted, and they were looking at each other like they did before, when they were together.

"Deacon…" whispered Rayna, leaning into the man sitting across from her. And suddenly his lips were on hers and it wasn't like last night, when she was crying and needed consolation. It was like years ago, when they made each other crazy with just a look. It amazed Rayna, that after all this time he could still make her feel like she was twenty years old again.

They stood up, mouths still battling, dancing, and made their way into the house, up the stairs, and into bed. When Rayna woke a few hours later she found Deacon's head resting on her stomach, his hand on her hip.

And it didn't feel wrong, it didn't feeling like cheating. It felt like they had never been apart, like they had never been apart. Like the last twelve years hadn't happened and they were just Rayna and Deacon. And it was then that Rayna realized the real reason why her marriage to Teddy had never really worked – why it would never work. Because you can't really be with a man when you're already irrevocably intertwined with another – you can't really be with a man when you'll always love another.

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_Reviews are like candy... and giving out candy makes the candy-eater write more chapters... or something that's less weird and/or makes more sense. _


	5. Chapter 5

It had been a week and a half. Ten days. Rayna didn't know how much longer she could handle it. Ten days since she'd slept with Deacon (not for the first time, mind you), ten days since she and Teddy had had a real conversation. Now he just grunted in response to her questions. Rayna was lucky if she got a two-word answer out of him.

She knew he knew that she'd slept with Deacon. She even knew that he was surprised it hadn't happened sooner. _The way you look at that man… God, Rayna, you just can't say no to him, can you?_ Teddy's accusations were permeating the insides of her brain. A part of her felt ashamed that she'd proven Teddy right - she _couldn't_ say no to Deacon. A bigger part of her, however, knew that she'd never _want_ to say no to him, because saying no to him was like turning her back on happiness.

"Mom?" asked Daphne from the backseat.

"Yeah, sweetie?" Rayna was brought out of her thoughts by her younger daughter, who wanted to know why they were going to see Uncle Deacon. "Well, honey, I just thought it might be nice, that's all."

"But why isn't Daddy coming? Is it because he hates Uncle Deacon?"

Rayna whipped her head around, "Now why would you think that?"

"I dunno… I just do…" Daphne looked down at her hands, confused, "He always seems so mad when Uncle Deacon comes around is all…"

Rayna sighed, preferring not to answer. She couldn't tell her daughter that she was right – Teddy _did_ hate Deacon – but she couldn't lie to her either. Instead, she focused on what today would bring – a chance for Deacon to get to spend time with his daughter.

They pulled up in front of his house, the girls unbuckling their seatbelts before the car had even stopped. They jumped out and ran up the steps just as Deacon came out, wearing his classic flannel shirt, guitar in hand.

"Why hello ladies! Fancy seein' you here!" he exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear. In return he got a simultaneous "Hey Uncle Deacon!"

"And my, my, my. Look at this pretty lady," he said, staring straight at Rayna. She blushed, unsure how to act in front of the girls.

"Deacon," she acknowledged. Noticing the guitar in his hand, she asked, "Have something planned for today?"

"Do I ever. Come on, girls, let's get goin'," he said, leading the way to his truck.

They all clambered in, Rayna hopping into the passenger seat, shooting Deacon looks the entire time. _Where in the world are we going?_ she thought.

They drove a little under an hour, going far outside city limits. The girls had been chattering the entire way, asking Deacon a whole slew of questions. Rayna sat there, content to listen to the conversation, at times drifting off to think about how her life would have been if she hadn't married Teddy.

A mistake. That's what she now knew her marriage to be. A mistake. Of course she loved her girls, and wouldn't trade them for anything in the world, but she shouldn't have given in to what her father wanted. She should have been strong for Deacon – waited.

Once again she was jolted out of her daydreams by the slowing of the car. She looked over at Deacon, "Where are we?" he just smiled and got out, so the rest of them followed suit.

"You bring your swimsuits like I told you?" he asked, rubbing his palms together.

Rayna looked at him as if he were crazy. "Well… yeah, but I don't see a pool around here anywhere…"

They were at the edge of a large field about fifteen minutes off the highway, and there was no body of water in sight. "Well Ray, I guess your not lookin' hard enough," replied Deacon, smile still plastered on his face.

Grabbing his guitar and swim trunks out of the back of the truck he started walking. "Come on!" was all it took for the girls to start running after him, and it made Rayna smile, that her girls loved him as much as she did.

After a solid ten-minute walk they came to a clearing. A soft river ran through this part of the field, which by now had turned into small forest. The trees weren't very tall, allowing plenty of light to filter through the leaves, and the grass was soft under Rayna's boots. The river wasn't too wide or too deep, until it opened up to a large pool of crisp, clear water. _It's beautiful,_ thought Rayna, _this is exactly what I needed._ She stole a quick look at Deacon, but her eyes got stuck to his. She nodded her head in appreciation, and although no words were spoken between the two, they understood each other perfectly.

"Come on, guys! Let's go in!" yelled Maddie, rummaging through her mother's bag, looking for her swimsuit. Deacon and Rayna broke their gaze to attend to their daughter. _This is gonna be a good one, I can feel it._

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_Next up... a day with Rayna, Deacon and the girls. _

_Reviews are appreciated :)_


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